Choice Chat For Choice Moms

When faced with the prospect of building a family as a single woman, it can be overwhelming the choices we actually have. What do we really want? This is the process Rachel Lehmann-Haupt, author of “In Her Own Sweet Time,” is currently in, as she decides — as a woman turning 40 — what the right choice for her is. Keep looking for a partner? Use her frozen eggs? Inseminate now? We also talk to Christy Jones, founder of Extend Fertility, about the egg-freezing process. This is a former "Choosing Single Motherhood" online radio show hosted by Mikki Morrissette in August 2009.

This conversation with Lee Varon, author of “Adopting On Your Own” helps to make the adoption process less overwhelming for the single woman. We talk about the options, the process, the practical issues, and how to pick the right adoption agency. We also answer specific questions from Choice Moms — and celebrate the fact that “choice mom” was contender for 2009 word of the year by New Oxford American dictionary publishers.

Private domestic adoption is an underestimated choice for many single women, largely because we tend to assume it’s too expensive, the wait time is too long, and that a birth parent in an open adoption (which is much more common these days) is more likely to pick a married couple with money. We hear from women who are considering adoption, and address their concerns with adoption attorney Micah Salb and Independent Adoption Center agent Jennifer Bliss. We also discuss the fact that attempting to conceive can take as long, and cost as much, as the adoption process.  

It’s amazing what we don’t understand when we’re actually TRYING to get pregnant. Three notable fertility doctors — Dr. Rani Abassi (Columbia Ferility Associates, D.C.), Dr. Isabel Ryan (Pacific Fertility Center, SF) and Dr. Debra Wachs (Reproductive Science Center of the Bay Area) walk us through everything we need to know about our own fertility, including a lengthy discussion about how to detect our ovulation window.  

[this episode originally aired as a radio show in December 2009]  Holiday time can be difficult, especially if you are jealous of sibling families, or being judged by your own. We talk about how to cope. And we meet psychologist Andrea Braverman, who talks about her process of helping women build their families in non-traditional ways. Q&A: how does weight affect fertility? Tip: what we should know about genetic counseling.

How do you pick a birth coach, and what can they offer pre- and post-delivery? We hear the wonderful story of four Choice Moms who delivered two babies in 24 hours. We meet Claudia Booker, a D.C.-based doula, who tells an amazing heartfelt story of her own Choice Mom journey through adoption. And I talk tips with Stefanie Antunes, Toronto-based doula and founder of Discover Birth.  

At a Choice Mom networking event in San Francisco, Maia Midwifery's Kristin Kali talked with women about how to balance the love they started with on this journey with the stress they feel from secretly fitting in doctor inseminations -- and cycles of 2ww and no smiley faces on the pregnancy tests -- with the rest of their work and personal life. This 9-minute conversation is part of ChoiceMom.org's Focus on Fertility (http://www.choicemoms.org/fertility/) package. Thanks to Sepal Reproductive Devices (http://www.totalconception.com) and California Cryobank (http://www.cryobank.com) for their continuing support of these Choice Chat podcasts.

A roundtable of single women talked at a Choice Mom workshop about the at-home insemination process, their emotions about the Choice Mom journey, IUI vs. ICI, one or two insems per cycle, and the value of acupuncture. Fertility Q&A: what is hostile cervical mucous?

Especially if you are a new mom, single parents need stress-relief strategies and energy boosts. Noted pediatrician Dr. Robert Sears, a spokesperson for Happy Baby, offers simple tips, signs of postpartum depression, and discusses IQ’s link to attachment. Also on this show: Dr. Charles Sims on cord blood banking. Fertility Q&A: at-home use of cervical cap vs. syringe. (Originally produced December 2009) Thanks to California Cryobank and Sepal Reproductive Devices for their continuing support of the Choice Chat podcast.      

How do we take care of our child, legally and financially, as a single person with one paycheck? What do we need in place to protect our child if something happens to us? Estate attorney Micah Salb, Ameriprise-affiliated financial planner Rebecca Hall, and insurance agent Gayle Thompson give special insight to Choice Moms. (Originally published July 2009)

How can yoga, massage, acupuncture and nutrition have an impact on fertility? We hear answers from the strong team at Pulling Down the Moon, who also explain food allergies, the do’s and don’ts of exercise and caffeine, what the acupuncture experience should be, and how to reduce daily stress. And, excerpted from a popular Choice Chat podcast: Choice Mom Cathi shares her humor about dealing with the stress of trying to conceive — and of taking care of a newborn. (Originally launched July 2009)

Three Choice Moms discuss the tips and strategies they learned to get through the newborn stage, including Jennie, who works full-time while going to college, and Christine, who has a preschooler and a newborn. And introducing the "Ask the Fertility Expert Q&A" segment, sponsored by IntegraMed, in which Dr. Steven Nakajima responds to confusion about success rates when you are TRYING to get pregnant as a single woman.

When Choice Mom Lori Gottlieb wrote in Atlantic Monthly that perhaps settling for Mr. Good Enough might have been the smart choice, it created a firestorm of debate in the community. Now that she's interviewed marriage and dating experts, neurologists, and married and single men and women -- and applied what she's learned into her own dating life -- she's back with the full report in her book "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough." We talk in this interview about, among other things, the penchant many Choice Moms might have for the "alpha maie" pre-motherhood, and how much things change in time. She talks about the platonic friend she wishes she'd married. And the "hot date" material she's glad she didn't meet until she was 10 years wiser. Sponsored by Sepal Reproductive Devices and California Cryobank. Learn more on ChoiceMoms.org.

There is no question but that single parenting evokes a wide variety of emotions and viewpoints about how the kids in single-parent homes turn out. In this one-hour show, which aired on Voice America June 3, we hear from two experts about the impact it can have on a child to grow up without a father: Peggy Drexler, author of Raising Boys Without Men, and Harvard educator Rick Weissbourd, author of The Parents We Mean To Be: How Well-Intentioned Adults Undermine Children's Moral and Emotional Development.

Did you know there are 10-minute solutions to detoxify the hassles of the day? The smartest Choice Moms learn how to carve out special moments in their day that are all about them. In this June 24 Voice America radio show, host Mikki Morrissette talks about some of those recharging ideas, which run the gamut from quirky to sweet. One special guest is New York City mom Lyss Stern, co-author of "If You Give a Mom a Martini: 100 ways to find 10 blissful minutes for yourself." We'll also hear from Danielle, Choice Mom of four-year-old twins.

In this June 10 Voice America radio show, host Mikki Morrissette talks with Christine Coppa, of Glamour, who gave up a kind of "Sex in the City" Carrie Bradshaw life when she unexpectedly conceived. What can she tell us about life as a single parent, compared to the freedom of her pre-mom years?

This one-hour June 17 Voice America radio show featured host Mikki Morrissette's conversation with author April Lynch ("The Genome Factor"), about what we can know -- and should know -- about our child's genetic health, even if we don't know the birth parents or donor.

In this powerful show, we talk with with Ryan Kramer, the extremely eloquent teenager who co-founded Donor Sibling Registry with his mother Wendy. We discuss 1) his curiosity about his roots from the age of two, 2) his own search for his donor, 3) what it is -- and is not -- that he is looking for in that search, 4) how the Donor Sibling Registry was born and the more than 6,000 matches that have been made since. He talks openly about the disappointment he felt when he learned of several half-siblings whose parents didn't want them to know each other. He also discusses the relationship he has since developed with a half-sister. We talked about whether being an only child has an impact on the curiosity. He offers tips for families making contact with half-siblings and donors, and he explains in articulate detail how he hopes the industry will change in the coming years -- which requires the participation of the Choice Mom community as one of the largest numbers of consumers.This show was sponsored by the Donor

In this unique, detailed show, we hear directly from a formerly anonymous sperm donor (now running this service for donor families), who contributed for 15 years, about the contact he has now had with a few of his offspring. We talk about how the industry has changed since he provided fresh sperm to infertile couples. He honestly discusses his motivations at the time, the responsibility he now feels for the 200-plus offspring he estimates he now has, and what his experience tells him about the interest donor-conceived offspring have about their donor. After he made contact with offspring via the Donor Sibling Registry, he admits to confusion about the best way to proceed and talks openly about the issues it has brought to his own family life. He also talks about the value he believes donated gametes have in enabling people to build their own family, despite the complications it can bring.This show was sponsored by California Cryobank.

A majority of families using donor conception do not report births after the fact. This has a tremendous impact on the industry -- for example, the numbers of offspring born to a sperm donor, and even to egg donors, are generally vastly underreported, and if there is a genetic abnormality that surfaces in later years, families cannot be notified.In this show, American Fertility Association board member Patricia Mendell, who is also a New York-based fertility counselor, talks about regulations in the fertility industry today. What do we need to do differently? Why are changes coming so slowly? What can Choice Moms do, as a sizeable share of the fertility industry market, to make a difference? In light of the aftermath of the octuplets birth in California to a woman who already had six children, how should regulations, ethics and counseling play a role?She also shares resources to help women become more educated consumers.This show was sponsored by Fertility Cryobank.